Monday, June 6

mens' rules

got this in an email from  my nanny (hi nanny!!), thought it was kinda funny! i like #9 best :)

  1. Men are NOT mind readers.
  2. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
  3. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
  4. Crying is blackmail, and witchcraftAsk for what you want. Let us be clear on this one! Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
  5. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
  6. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
  7. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and Void after 7 Days.
  8. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
  9. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
  10. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
  11. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
  12.  Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
  13. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
  14. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
  15. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
  16. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear..
  17. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really!
  18. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Football or golf.
  19. You have enough clothes.
  20. You have too many shoes.


Taryn said...

Funny stuff...I debated forwarding on to my boyfriend, but dont want him to think it gets him out of any one of these situations. Lol

Legally Fabulous said...

I think #8 is my favorite. that made me laugh

BelleinBows said...

This is too funny. I just read this aloud to the guy. He agrees with hmph! haha

Chelsea said...

bahahaha wow. so true. :)

Chelsea said...

i feel so enlighted now.

Kelsea said...

Too funny! It really is crazy how differently they are than us...this portrays that VERY well! Thanks for the laugh (and reminder!)!

Katelyn said...

Oh my god these are so true!!! except the christopher columbus one is based on faulty logic considering he was trying to get to Asia...